Sunday, September 13, 2015

NFL15: Week 1

The NFL 2015 regular season kicks off today! I'm very excited to see which of 31 NFL teams end up winning the league championship. I'll be rooting for the Miami Dolphins, the NFL72 and NFL73 champions and NFL85* co-champions.

Thirty of the 31 legitimate NFL teams play games today; the Pittsburgh Steelers begin their real regular season in Week 2. It's not necessary to publish these standings today, given that all of the teams are 0-0--I just wanted to have the fun of typing each of their names because, even though I am a Dolphins guy, I really do just love the whole, legitimate NFL. I've listed the teams by conference, in the order of their NFL14 finish. Teams with the little "-z" won their divisions; teams with the little "-y" earned wild-card berths to the playoffs. The Buffalo Bills, with the little "-x," had the best record in the AFC East, but their division championship was awarded to a team that I no longer recognize as a legitimate member of the league. 

AFC (five or six teams will qualify for the playoffs)

Indianapolis Colts-z (NFL70, NFL06 champ; NFL03*, NFL14* co-champ) 0-0
Baltimore Ravens-y (NFL00, NFL12 champ; NFL11* co-champ) 0-0
Denver Broncos-z (NFL97, NFL98 champs) 0-0
Pittsburgh Steelers-z (NFL74, 75, 78, 79, 05, 08 champ; 01*, 04* co-champ) 0-0
Cincinnati Bengals-y 0-0
Houston Texans 0-0
Kansas City Chiefs (NFL69 champ) 0-0 
San Diego Chargers (NFL07* co-champ) 0-0
Buffalo Bills-x 0-0
Miami Dolphins (NFL72, NFL73 champ; NFL85* co-champ) 0-0
Cleveland Browns 0-0
New York Jets (NFL68 champ) 0-0 
Jacksonville Jaguars (NFL97* c0-champ) 0-0
Oakland Raiders (NFL76, NFL80, NFL83 champ) 0-0
Tennessee Titans 0-0

NFC (six teams will qualify for the playoffs)

Seattle Seahawks-z (NFL13 champ, NFL14* co-champ) 0-0
Green Bay Packers-z 0-0 (NFL66, NFL67, NFL10 champ; NFL97* co-champ)
Dallas Cowboys-z 0-0 (NFL71, NFL77, NFL92, NFL93, NFL95 champ)
Carolina Panthers-z (NFL03* co-champ) 0-0
Arizona Cardinals-y 0-0
Detroit Lions-y 0-0
Philadelphia Eagles (NFL04* co-champ) 0-0
San Francisco 49ers (NFL81, NFL84, NFL88, NFL89, NFL94 champ) 0-0
New Orleans Saints (NFL09 champ) 0-0
Minnesota Vikings 0-0
New York Giants (NFL86, NFL90 champ; NFL07*, NFL11* co-champ) 0-0
Atlanta Falcons 0-0
St. Louis Rams (NFL99 champ) 0-0
Chicago Bears (NFL85* co-champ) 0-0
Washington Redskins (NFL82, NFL87, NFL91 champ) 0-0
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (NFL02 champ) 0-0

(*In NFL85, the Chicago Bears won the Super Bowl and the Miami Dolphins lost the AFC championship against a team that I no longer recognize as a legitimate member of the NFL. The Dolphins beat the Bears in the regular season, so I do now privately consider the Dolphins the NFL85 champions--but because the Bears actually did win the Super Bowl and I am a fair person, I am willing to officially declare the Dolphins and Bears as co-champions of NFL85. Anyway, there are similar problems with the NFL97, NFL01, NFL03, NFL04, NFL07, NFL11 and NFL14 seasons, and you can look up those stories. I may do so some day, but I'm not going to today. Today is the first day of the legitimate, 31-team NFL15 regular season, and I'm ready to move forward and sweep away all of that unfortunate history.)